IF YOU DIDN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE
by Sey
Summary: Amidala has just come back from visiting her family to Coruscant for a supposed visit. Obi-Wan notices her appearance seems unwell and this scares him. What is causing such physical effects on her? What is she hiding in her heart? R/R!!!


IF YOU DIDN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE  
Written by: Seyla Starrider and Ku Yonghai  
Date: June 26, 2001  
Contact: dpriser@aol.com and seywhatstarwars@yahoo.com   
Rating: PG  
Intent: Angst/Action  
Note: This is somewhat a song-fic. You might know the artist you might not. "IF YOU DIDN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE" is a song recorded by three sisters a.k.a. Aurora. We were inspired to title this fiction by this song when we heard it while writing the story.   
Thanks2: George Lucas and friends for creating the already known characters. Know we are receiving no money or anything for this work, only the satisfaction of releasing our feelings and allowing others to view them.  
Time: After Episode I: The Phantom Menace. Yes another version of Episode II.  
Summery: Amidala has just come back from visiting her family to Coruscant for a supposed visit. Obi-Wan notices her appearance seems unwell and this scares him. What is causing such physical effects on her? What is she hiding in her heart? R/R!!!  
  
  
  
***Arrival***  
  
Obi-Wan Kenobi waited patiently as the ramp to the former Queen of Naboo's ship gradually came down. It had been a long time since he had seen the woman who he had protected so long ago.  
  
A figure stepped down the ramp with a small R2 unit and Captain Parka following closely behind. She wore a white outfit with a silver belt around her waist. It struck him as surprising that she looked so thin, and frightened him. A light cloak of the similar color lay nicely on her shoulders, fluttering behind her as she descended. She wore no make up except for some eyeliner and lipstick, but besides that she wore none of the pale facial paint that once adorn her face.  
  
He knew she must be missing her father, for he had passed away a during her visit with her other family. Obi-Wan was glad she was at least there with him during his last moments.  
  
A smile pierced her face as she came closer to him. Without warning Kenobi found her in his arms in a friendly hug.  
  
"Well, um... hello Ami. It's good to see you too." He responded.  
  
She pulled away laughing. "I missed you so much. It's like being away from my family. You're like an older brother to me, and I thank you for your friendship."  
  
A grin appeared on his face. It was nice to hear those words coming from her lips. He too felt as if they were more family than friends. He also knew that he had helped her years ago at the Battle of Naboo, but hadn't truly realized how much it meant to her. After all these years the two had kept in touch. She and Anakin had also been talking more and more lately on the Holo comm. It made him laugh. He knew the two had something special. "And thank you for yours. How were your travels?"  
  
"Very peaceful and resolving." She had visited with her extended family for two months. He knew it must still hurt deep inside to loose her father. It must hurt the same way to her as it had to him when his Master had died.  
  
Now she was back on Coruscant. The last time she had come here was to ask for help from the Senate to stop the Trade Federation, but that was in the past. He hoped that this time she wouldn't leave with the same disappointment and sorrow she had many years ago. "I've had time to contemplate on a lot of things on the way here. It helped a lot."  
  
Obi-Wan knew she had been struggling with what to do with the rest of her life. Now that her term on Naboo was over, she had nothing else to do. At age twenty-five she already saved a planet, been through more than any being in the galaxy could go through in a lifetime.  
  
Captain Parka came up from behind Amidala and greeted the Jedi with a slap on the back. "Well, Kenobi old buddy you've changed a lot. I see you've forgotten to shave and get that hair cut for a while."  
  
"Greetings Parka. I see you've changed much yourself." He replied sarcastically. The two laughed together.  
  
A familiar beeping noise came from the ground. It was the droid and it squealed in joy to see the Jedi. Falling to his knee to eye level for the droid, Obi-Wan felt old memories rush to him. "R2-D2. It's been along time, old friend." His voice sounded far off, like in a dream.  
  
R2 began beeping wildly at him.  
  
He laughed. "It's good to see you too." He got to his feet. "Well let me show you to your quarters. I'm sure your exhausted from your trip."  
  
As they walked down the corridor Amidala questioned. "Where's Anakin?"  
  
"He said he couldn't make it, and sends his deepest regrets."  
  
"Oh," she nodded then bit her bottom lip in worry.  
  
Something was disturbing her inside her soul, but she kept her thought conceded deep inside of her. Trying to reassure her he answered. "We'll see him at dinner." He did not press doing his best to avoid her feelings until the two were alone.  
  
  
***Hidden Truth***  
  
Anakin situated himself in a new position. After sitting for a while numbness was getting to him. That and he was worrying, something Anakin had difficulty keeping under control. Especially when it came to Amidala.  
  
Senator Palpatine obviously notice his uneasiness. He stopped abruptly in his conversation with Anakin. "Is everything alright, Skywalker?"  
  
"Excuse me milord, but I must be going. I don't mean to be rude. It's just that if I'm late for dinner with Naberrie` and Kenobi, suspicion will no less arise in them."  
  
The Chancellor nodded in agreement. "Yes, we must not break out with the news quite yet. You are dismissed."  
  
  
Palpatine watched as the nineteen year old left his office, closing the door behind him, all in a rush.  
  
He already knew former Queen Amidala was back. Life seemed to be getting easier and easier to get rid off. *Go on, Skywalker. Greet your friends. I see a future that you will envy these next few months had never transpired. Your future is mine. It's too late to escape out of it now, now that you've taken a few more steps to the darkside. You will fail to help your precious friends and your mother out of the fate you have agreed with. Soon, Amidala will shatter as will your love for her. Until that day comes... enjoy what your foolish dreams. Cause reality is haunting closely by. *  
  
Pulling open his left desk drawer he pulled out the application, recommendation, and finalizing papers to confirm Amidala Padme` Naberrie` as an advisor and senator to his staff. All was going perfectly well considering the chaotic feelings bustling about.  
  
In time, Amidala would become so blinded by politics that her vision on what was right and wrong would blur. *When I'm done with you my dear, you won't know which side is up from down. * He hideously remarked.  
  
  
***Angel***  
  
Amidala was dressed in an elegant aqua blue gown with her hair curled and put up in a way Obi-Wan never though could be done. Barely any make-up had been applied to her face.  
  
The two were waiting for Anakin who hadn't appeared yet, but Obi-Wan could feel his apprentice rushing over to the restaurant as fast as he could. *Hurry up, Anakin. She needs your comfort. I've given all I can.*  
  
*As fast as the Force can take me, Obi-Wan. *  
  
He breathed. At least he replied.  
  
He looked at Amidala. She looked as if she was going to break. She looked so frail and thin like something was literally eating her away. Trying to comfort his Force sister, he offered her some water. "Here, you need to drink something."  
  
"Thanks." She took a sip then set the glass down with sadness in her eyes.  
  
Doing his best not to pry he asked. "Ami, are you alright?"  
  
As if zoning back into reality, she glanced up at him. "Huh?"  
  
"You seem out of it. Is there something wrong?"  
  
"N-no. I ... it's nothing."  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm just not feeling well."  
  
Caringly he supplied. "Do you need a medic?"  
  
"No. I'll be fine." She giggled lightly.   
  
Suddenly, Anakin came bursting through the doors. Amidala didn't seem to notice until he spoke. "Angel."  
  
Spinning her head around, her curls twirled around and her saddened expression she wore moments before vanished. Happiness lit her face. Putting down the glass, she got up from her seat and hastily ran to Anakin.  
  
He caught her in his arms spinning her around in the lobby. "Ani! You're...you're here. Thank the Force." Tears streamed down her face in delight.  
  
"I love you too." He replied back. He set her down and put his right hand on her cheek and smoothed it out, brushing the tears off her face. "Angel... oh I've missed you so much." With that he leaned down and kissed her.  
  
After a minute or so someone coughed from behind them. They broke the connection and saw Obi-Wan trying to hid a smile. "Excuse me, but your table awaits." He said while laughing.  
  
"Master, p..."  
  
"Anakin, we're not at the Temple or on a mission. Obi-Wan is fine."  
  
"Obi-Wan please."  
  
"Sorry, didn't mean that hurtfully." He answered sarcastically.  
  
Amidala giggled. "Come on you two. I'm starving. Argue later. I have some news to tell you."  
  
  
***Senator***  
  
While they ate their dinner, Amidala decided to announce her conclusion on what to do with the rest of her life. What she hadn't known was Anakin's reaction to it. She the thought he would have been happy for her. She was wrong  
  
"You what?" Anakin nearly had choked.  
  
"A senator."  
  
"That's great Ami. When do you start your term?"  
  
"Well, as soon as the Chancellor clears the papers through the Core, but no longer than a week." She construed.  
  
After taking a drink of water Anakin replied. "When did this come about?"   
  
"I have been thinking about becoming apart of the Republic's Senate for a long time now. My goal is to help shape what the Senate is truly suppose to do; assist other beings and planets in distress in a quick and efficient manner. I don't want to see the same thing happen to someone else like it did to me and Naboo."  
  
The apprentice disagreed. "Amidala, you're only one person. You're talking about the WHOLE COUNCIL! Much less, how do you think that Chancellor Palpatine would agree to such ideas?"  
  
Amidala was plastered against her seat. Her face was ghostly white. She had barely touched her food and Obi-Wan was alarmed for her health. She was so thin, and frail. "Anakin..." he warned his padawan.  
  
Amidala waved off the older Jedi's help. "For your information, Chancellor Palpatine has already agreed and given his full approval of the plan. I even have a hand written recommendation to operate at his side, as one of his advisors."  
  
  
His heart pounded hard against his chest. Amidala didn't know what she was getting herself into? He had to stop her. But this might help her to be by his side when she found out about his play in the rise, then again Palpatine wasn't one to keep old attachments and ties of the past alive, no matter who or what. "Angel, please re-evaluate this."  
  
"What are you saying?"  
  
"I want you to make sure you know what you are getting yourself into."  
  
"Anakin!" She scolded.  
  
He let out a breath trying to fix what he twisted up. "I didn't mean to say that you aren't suited for the job. I know you can do it, but-"  
  
"BUT WHAT?"  
  
"But I just don't desire to see you harmed by... by this."  
  
Taking a deep breath she calmed her body down. He was only watching out for her well-being. "Ani, I love you. But sometimes you just worry too much. I'm aware of what I am doing. I understand it quite well."  
  
*No you don't! If only you knew. I wish I could just tell you, but I might loose you. And I don't want that to happen. * "Ok, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to blow up in your face."  
  
"You're forgiven," she tried to lighten up the mood.   
  
"I'm sorry about that, Obi-Wan."  
  
"It's alright. We all get stressed by everyday routines, and the late reaction is something that I always try to avoid showing as should you, but we all have our times."  
  
*Well, at least they can forgive me for this. * What he didn't know was that this might be the last time they could do something of such grace.  
  
  
***Midnight Hour***  
  
Amidala was staying at the Jedi Temple in the dormitory where the guests stayed. She had her own room with R2, Captain Parka in another. The droid had shut down for the night, and she lay in a deep sleep when all of the sudden she sat up straight breathing hard. Perspiration outlined her skin. She was shaking from the cold sweat.   
  
She had to get away. Away from the terror, away from the nightmare.  
  
Not bothering to put on her robe, she dashed out of her room allowing the door to hit the wall with a tremendous force. She ran into the Gardens towards the cool waters of the lake.  
  
A few feet away from the waters, she collapsed in a heap onto the solid dirt ground. Her entire body gave out from under her. Falling into a deep blackness, she was able to scream. It was weak, but the noise came out from her mouth.  
  
  
Obi-Wan had been swimming underneath the lake surface when suddenly a pang of anxiety rushed through him. Someone needed help.  
  
He stroked to the surface and broke through the still water.  
  
Quickly he walked up to the surface and allowed his eyes to adjust to the lighting. A shadow of a slender body lay in a bundle near the shore. Quickening his pace he dropped to the earth. His hand instinctively went to the figures neck and checked for a pulse.  
  
It was there but barely was circulating.  
  
Leaning closer to feel if the being was breathing he was able to make out emaciated features of... "Ami!"  
  
Pulling out his comm-link he dialed the medical emergency number. A synthetic voice answered. "You have called the Medic Emergency Ward. You are speaking to K82-4U. How may I help?"  
  
"I have a human female, age twenty-five. Pulse is low, and is unconscious. She's in shock. Her skin is cold and clammy. I need an ambulance."  
  
"Ok, sir. Where is your location?"  
  
"The Jedi Gardens. Go down dirt path to the lake and we'll be here at the end."  
  
In the background, Obi-Wan could hear the droid type in the information into the computer. "Thank you. Medics will be there in less than two minutes."  
  
The Jedi Knight shut off the communications channel and stroked the woman's cheek. Whispering he did his best not to break down. "Ami, what's happening to you? You're so thin and flimsy. What's causing this? You're scaring me... I don't want to loose you. You're like the only sister I never had."  
  
Before he knew it the meds arrived and he backed up away and let them do their job. He followed them back to the speeder outside of the Temple.  
  
One of them turned around and faced him. "Sir, we need you to come with us. You found her and I assume you know her?"  
  
He nodded. "Yes."  
  
Jumping into the back of the speeder, he didn't say anything more. He called Anakin.  
  
  
"Are you there?" Obi-Wan paged.  
  
Anakin stopped his meditation exercises and grabbed his comm-link. "Sorry, I was meditating. Yes, I'm here."  
  
"Ami needs you at the hospital right now."  
  
"Why what happened?" he questioned in concern.  
  
"I don't know yet, but the signs are leaning towards shock. We're on our way to the hospital now. She's unconscious."  
  
"I'll be there as fast as I can."  
  
  
***Awakened Fear***  
  
Groaning in pain she did her best to stretch her sore muscles, but it hurt too much to move anything. Slowly she opened her eyes to find brightness fill them.  
  
"Ami? Are you alright?"  
  
It was Anakin. She could tell by his voice. "W-where am I?"  
  
"In the hospital. Obi-Wan found you passed out in the Jedi Gardens. You wouldn't be here now if he hadn't found you."  
  
It was then when she remembered. She recalled running out of her room, waking up in panic. She remembered the nightmare. "Ben... I need to talk to Ben. Where is he?"  
  
"I'll get him, Ami. Just stay awake."  
  
Obi-Wan entered the room. Anakin waited outside. "Ben."  
  
"Shhh... I'm here. Are you feeling better?"  
  
Water began to fill her eyes. "Ben, last night. What happened?"  
  
"You collapsed. The test results still haven't come in to verify from what."  
  
"No," she mumbled. She bit her lower lip. She knew why it had happened, but did she dare tell Kenobi. He had been a brother to her. Could she trust him to keep a secret?  
  
"What? What's wrong? Why are you so pale?"  
  
"I've been having this nightmare virtually every night. It was about Anakin."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"I was in a dark room watching him dueling Senator Dooku in front of a man, a Sith. He was dressed all in black robes like a Jedi. His hood covered his eyes, but you could see his nose and lips. As I watched I felt completely compressed by darkness. I tried to get free but it weighed heavily on my body. It crushing me, and I couldn't b..." she couldn't continue.  
  
Obi-Wan held her close doing his best to control her shivers. "It's ok Ami. It's all over."  
  
She shook her head. "No," She mumbled. "It'll just come back tonight and the next till..."  
  
"Amidala. Stop! It's only a dream. Palpatine isn't evil, and neither is Anakin. You know that."  
  
Lifting her head up she looked into his eyes. "But Ben, I'm so frightened for Ani." She sobbed.  
  
"What?" Is this was what consuming her into nothing? A nightmare, and fear of her love going to the Darkside.  
  
"I love him, I do. I love him with all my heart, but I can't help but worry for him. I have this nagging feeling it's going to be a matter of time when he turns."  
  
"Ami, I can't promise that he won't. Every one of us has that fight to go on the light or dark. Even you. But Anakin loves you so much. I don't see how he could leave you for something even the Darkside. Don't let your fears consume you. It's apart of the darkside. You have to be strong."  
  
"Thanks Ben. I wish it was as easy as you put it."  
  
  
***Introductions ***  
  
"Good evening fellow beings of the blessed Republic. I thank you for coming on this urgent matter at hand. Today you will vote a new being in or out of office. I would like to welcome you former Queen of Naboo, Amidala Padme` Naberrie`."  
  
Applause filled the entire dome.  
  
The earlier Queen of Naboo stepped up to the central Podium in front of millions and billions of beings of the Senate. She wore her white ensemble and prepared to make her acceptance speech that would discern whither or not she was to be a Envoy of the Republic.  
  
She took a deep breath. In this very same spot, years ago when she was thirteen she asked for the Councils help to assist in the Battle for Naboo.  
  
It was never resolved by the Republican Senate. She instead put Chancellor Valrom out of office and voted Palpatine in.  
  
Closing her eyes for a moment she was silent and let the quietness still her inner turmoil. Then she spoke in a calm, sincere, and convincing tone.  
  
  
***Celebrations and Doubts***  
  
"YOU MADE IT! YOU'RE A SENATOR!" Obi-Wan exclaimed as Amidala entered his quarters. He grabbed her in a twirl hug, laughing. He set her down. "You did it! All on your own."  
  
She giggled. "Not without the Force."  
  
"Today you did something very brave and courageous. You stood up before the Republic and proclaimed what everyone in this universe needs... hope." Captain Parka commented.  
  
"Thank you, Parka."  
  
R2-D2 came shrieking at her heels.  
  
She laughed. The little droid acted like a little child happy to see its mother. "And thank you R2." Looking around the apartment she scanned for her heart's love. "Where's Anakin?" she asked a bit puzzled that he wasn't there.  
  
"He had to go do something. But said he'll be back later." Obi-Wan replied.  
  
R2 whined in a sad tone.  
  
"Oh, it's ok R2. I'm not mad at Ani. I just thought he would be here," she reassured the droid.  
  
"Well, then. Why don't we go eat? Dinner's already made." Parka retorted.  
  
  
"How in the Force did you allow this to happen?!?!!" Anakin yelled at the Chancellor.  
  
"She won the election fairly. I had no part of it."  
  
"You Kessel of a Hutt! You did this on purpose. You know I love her. How could you?"  
  
The Sith Lord narrowed his menacing eyes at the boy. "You better watch what you say boy, or you'll end up in a predicament worse than death." He warned.  
  
"I will not! I don't want to be apart of this anymore!"  
  
"There's no escaping reality now. You-"  
  
"This isn't reality. This is murder! Forget it Palpatine. I'm not going to be apart of this."  
  
"So be it Skywalker. But you will be mine one day."  
  
"Promise you won't harm her."  
  
"I promise."  
  
With that Anakin stormed out of the office.  
  
*But I can't promise that you won't. *  
  
  
***Mended Hearts***  
  
Amidala sat out on the balcony of her quarters staring up at the lines of speeders and transports flying by.  
  
The party had been over for two hours. Everyone had left, but she stayed up and waited for him. *He promised he'd be here. * she reminded herself as a single lone tear slipped down her cheek.  
  
"I'm sorry, Ami."  
  
Spinning around she saw him. He looked like he had just been in a duel. "What took you so long?"  
  
"I had to take care of something important."  
  
"What could be more important?" she accused him.  
  
Reaching on his belt, he unclasped something dangling from it. He fell to one knee and grasped her left hand. He opened the box to reveal a delicate ring of juniper and jade. He took it out of the box and placed it on her finger. "Amidala Padme` Naberrie`, will you marry me and be the mother of my children? For I love you deeper than any love and any feeling could describe. You are my Angel, and I have longed for the day to fly with you for forever and eternity."  
  
Her eyes went wide as her heart unfolded. "Yes. Yes, I will marry you, Anakin Skywalker."  
  
The next thing they knew they found each other kissing passionately.  
  
  
***Secrets***  
  
A soft knock came upon Amidala's door. Slowly she got up and put on her robe, then went to open the door to find-"Obi-Wan? Why are you here so early?"  
  
"May I come in?" his voice was formal and sounded a bit betrayed.  
  
"Umm... sure." She closed the door and led him to the living room. "Would you like something to drink? A cup of caffeine, maybe?"  
  
"No, I'm fine." He sat down and waited till she was seated across from him on the couch, before he spoke. "Ami, I just received a call from the hospital about your last week's shut down."  
  
"What's the matter?"  
  
He took a deep breath before continuing. "The test results concluded that you have an early cause of anorexia."  
  
"Anorexia?" she repeated as if tasting the word. "What in Kessel is that?"  
  
"It's an emotional disease. One that causes the victim to eat very little or stop eating all together."  
  
She sat wide-eyed and mouthed at the Jedi. She didn't say anything. Amidala suspected that something like this might happen after the beginning of the nightmares. She needed to control something in her life, have run over something. She didn't want to admit that she did have the disease. Nor did she want to ignore it. "So what are you saying?"  
  
"I'm saying that you got to start eating again. You'll do no good for anyone if you are only pile of bones."  
  
"I'm sorry. I just needed some power over my life. Once the nightmares started I felt totally hopeless. Now everything seems to be going right again. I've got my life back in my hands again."  
  
The older Jedi stood up and strolled to her. He dropped to his knees and looked into her eyes. No longer did bags crease her face. Her whole persona looked and felt revived. "Ami... is there something you'd like to tell me?"  
  
She bit her lip slightly and smiled. "Anakin and I are engaged."  
  
Now it was his turn to be surprised. "Oh... congratulations! When did this pop up?"  
  
"Last night. We're going to be wed in a month."  
  
"So who's the lucky guy who's going to walk you down the isle?" he knew her father had passed away and the question was a bit forcing but she needed to deal with the fact soon.  
  
She had her head down. He lifted her chin up off her chest with his finger. Tears slid down her cheeks. "Ben... will you do the honor? Will you walk me down the isle?" She didn't know how he would take it, but he was her older brother in the Force; her other father figure. And she couldn't imagine anyone else filling in her father's missing place.  
  
He didn't answer right away. "Ami-I... I would be pleased too."  
  
"Thank you, brother."  
  
"Anything for my little sister." He retorted.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
***We hope you liked it!! If you would like to see the fiction continue write to either of us. We both would love to continue it, but don't know if this story is likable for you readers! Both of us like how Obi-Wan and Amidala have a special relationship as like a brother and sister would. The Obi-Wan and Amidala relationship regarding the two and lovers is something unlikely to happen in Episode II, the movie. If it should come to pass as that is what happens... Amidala's reputation would be looked upon as a slut. Which isn't something George Lucas likes to portray his characters. Write back!!! All comments are welcome!!!  
  
Always dreaming,  
Seyla Starrider& Ku Yonghai***  



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